Responsibilties

It seems that epiphanies are becoming a common theme in my life lately. It hit me today, I am on the very edge of something very important. To be honest, I'm not exactly sure what it is, but I know that something is happening that will forever be a part of me.

I'm 18. Legally that makes me an adult, although the scary part is, I don't feel anything closer to being one. Now, not only can I live for my country, but I can die as well. I can marry. I can garner credit. I can buy a house. Oh and there's also the little fact that I can completely ruin my life by making poor decisions now.

There is, I believe, a point in most everyone's life where they realize that they are no longer a child, that they will in fact eventually grow up, despite what Peter Pan may have led them to believe.

Tonight, it hit me.

I have been planning for the past 3 months to spend 8 days in England with my family. A vacation from school, from responsibilities, from all that is piling up. A week of bliss, without cares.

But I am no longer a child.

Unfortunately for me, I never stopped growing up, and now whether I want to accept it or not, I am an adult. I can't run away from my responsibilities. As an adult, I cannot just forget about my obligations. A vacation would merely be me running away, postponing the inevitable.

So tonight, I have decided. I am not going to England. I am staying home for school, something I never would have imagined myself doing. I am pushing pleasure to the side. I am taking up responsibility. I am changing.

I'm Spencer, and I am an adult.
This really is a new me. I just hope that this new person is who I really want to be.