this ones for tilley. a little more me-ish stuff. if you know me, chances are good you've heard this rant of mine, but its ever present in the forefront of my mind...

you try to get comfortable in the perfectly upright, semi-padded chair, but its a losing battle. although even the most comfortable chair would do little to calm the churning in your gut. the walls are all light pastel colors, supposedly soothing, but everyone knows thats not true. nobody talks to eachother. everybody pretends to be interested in their magazine, usually golf digest or some accredited medical journal. nobody smiles, nobody laughs. you're in the doctors office. its time for your physical...

very few men have been brave enough to openly discuss the horrors and emotions involved in physicals. that is, until now...

[note from the author: explicit text about 'man parts' follows]

likely the single most anxiety causing thing in a mans life is a physical. i doubt that you lucky girls get to experience half of what us men must endure, and unless you get a rubber-clad hand stuck up in your 'business', then you dont.

to put it plainly, physicals suck. they really do. all the anxiety begins when you get that fateful call from the doctors office telling you its time for your physical. The first fear that strikes you is; will my doctor be a man or, God forbid, a woman...

once in the doctors office, you have to have that little pre-game chat with your "little buddy" making sure he doesn't decide to rear his ugly head. There could be nothing worse than having your aforementioned "buddy" decide to see whats up while the doctor is going through the "turn your head and cough" part...

(I can't believe i just wrote that... I'm so ashamed ...)

actually, i think i'm just gonna stop there. seeing as i have no real anonymity, everyone will know it was me that wrote this, which could cause some awkward moments...

time to go to bed ha