Calculus + Grrrr

Call it what you will (peer pressure anyone?), but I too have felt a compulsion to unleash my innermost thoughts on you, my most evil rival, calculus.

I'm just gonna have to say that I don't get it. I mean, I don't get calculus, as is apparent by my ever declining grades in class, but I don't get why it is so difficult to understand. Until this year, I would have been quick to tell any who would listen that I was indeed a math-person. I got math. I liked math. I liked the challenge. I liked the ease with which I grasped new concepts, while others around me began to faulter and fail.

I liked math.

I'd like to take this moment to put into words a conversation that I had. It was between me, and a certain faceless character named Calculus. This was the conversation that took place:

Me: Hi, I'm Spencer, I like math, I'm smart.

Calculus: Oh yea, let's see what we can do about that.

Me: Ouch! That hurts, you are crushing my head with nonsensical symbols and formulas that everyone insists I may need, but everyone knows they never will!

Calculus: So, what do you think of math now?

Me: I hate it! I hate you! You're a monster! Damn you! Damn you to Hell! Burn! You spawn of Satan!

It wasn't really a good day dream, but I like to think that if Calculus was a person that he (because everyone knows calculus couldn't possibly be a girl since girls have brains much too small to be able to comprehend such a manly topic) would be such a douche... But maybe, just maybe, we're too hard on Calculus. Maybe, he's a bully because that's all he knows...

Calculus: [Sob] Mom! Nobody gets me! Everybody hates me! I have no friends!

Calculus' Mom: Honey! That's not true! I'm sure lots of people like you!

Calculus: Oh yea!? Who?

Calculus' Mom: Well... Uhh... I'm sure that smart young Tilley child likes you!

Calculus: No... He just wrote a blog, and it said he didn't like me. They say I'm a bully and that I'm too hard and difficult to understand...

Calculus' Mom: Well, are you? I wasn't going to say anything, but I did get some calls from kids at school's mothers, and they weren't to happy about what you were doing to their kids. Honey, maybe you should just ease up on them, you know, drop the random symbols and algebra. Maybe you should start hanging out with Algebra 1, he might rub off on you.

Calculus: You think?

Calculus' Mom: Of course honey! You just need to loosen up and be nicer, then they'll be sure to love you!

Calculus: Okay, I'll try mom. Thanks for talking with me.

Calculus' Mom: Anytime honey, you know I'm here for you.

Maybe one day, a conversation like that will actually happen, and the world will be filled with Calculus-lovers not Calculus-haters. Until that day, FIGHT THE POWER!!